They Roll Their Eyes

I am annoyed. I am angry. But am I allowed to be?

Or is that too concerning, with the badge they have given me?

I am trapped inside my own head and I don’t know what to do.

Too many unanswered questions that I can’t construe.

There isn’t a day that goes by, everything doesn’t feel like doom,

Alone with my thoughts to engulf me in this room.

I want to be understood and yet people roll their eyes,

As if the constant mental torment is nothing more than lies.

As if I want my every thought to shake me to my core,

Can someone please help me to not feel this way anymore!?

Because I am sick of “she’s just negative” I am sick of waiting lists,

I am sick of never getting help, no matter how long I persist.

I am sick. I am sick. I am sick. But not quite sick enough,

See mental health is a number and you have to be pretty high up.

But it’s not just the system that fails us, some really just don’t care,

And they never will, so long as they will never be there.

Make an uneducated assessment, return to their personal show,

As they attempt to summarise something they will never know.

Everything hurts, movement, stillness, sleep and dreams,

That burning question remains, “what does all of this mean?”

The pain is killing me slowly, I can feel it as it rots inside,

It lives in me and there is nowhere I can hide.

It’s the most lonely place where everything is grey,

And all that exists are fear, regret, death, pain and decay.

I don’t want to die, I want to learn how to live.

I don’t want to die, I want to learn how to live.

One thought on “They Roll Their Eyes

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