Write about what you wish you had said . . .
You would go about your daily life and I would watch in awe. As you were getting ready for work, I would gaze at you and think about how lucky I was to wake up to you every morning. As you drove away, I would cling to the sheets on your side of the bed and search for your scent, reminiscing about the night before. I would wonder if you were also thinking of me. Every song that played on the radio was about you. You were the hero in every classic love story that I read. You were the object of adoration in everything that I wrote.
I put aside my passions and devoted myself to your interests, hoping that it would disguise the reality of my immature mind. I would search for your approval and try to work for your respect, with every effort unnoticed and ignored. I would watch you in awe, you were not watching me. You were not thinking of me whilst I was thinking of you. Your disinterest took its toll. I gave up trying to get your attention, and I grew distant and pulled away.
In a moment of panic, you clung onto what was left of us as tightly as you could and wished you could get back the girl that put you on a pedestal. The girl who would stare at her phone, waiting for you to text back, who would uncontrollably beam at the sight of you, melt at the sound of your voice, and look into your eyes with pure and honest love and adoration. But she was gone and I am all that is left. You had ignored her for too long and it was too late. I thought you were ignorant, that you were self-obsessed and arrogant. Now that I am older I realise the truth; you had lived a whole life before me, where someone broke your heart and you never recovered. You became numb and blind to love to protect yourself. I should have felt sorry for you rather than anger. I was young, and I didn’t understand. Thanks to you, I now do.
You broke my heart for a little while and I had three choices; I could be like you, become numb from love and never be happy with someone again, I could continue to love with everything that I am and lose myself in the process – as I did with you, or I could learn to love myself first because one day I will meet someone who cares for me as strongly as I care for them and we will both start every day knowing how lucky we are to have each other.
I just hope that one day you can love again. It might be hard to get your heart broken but never fear it, it is worth it for the moments in someone’s arms where time completely stands still.