Write about the three most powerful emotions.
According to psychologist Paul Eckman, there were six basic human emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, disgust, anger, and surprise. To stop my (annoying) brain from over analysing the difference between emotions and feelings, I am playing by this rule. Out of these, I feel that I have experienced happiness, fear and sadness the most intensely. Here is an utter ramble . . .
She kept holding onto what was left of them because the fear of it all ending was too much for her to take. He had told her that things were not the same between the two of them and his words replayed over and over again inside her head. When she thought about life without him, she felt like she couldn’t breathe and every second of her existence was consumed by that fear. She was convinced her life would be no longer worth living, so she did everything she could to keep him; changing her own beautiful self into the person she believed he had always wanted. She begged him not to leave, but in the end, her worst fears became a reality and she was left alone. On her own for the first time in ten years and unfamiliar with the person she had turned into. In her grey, clouded view, her future looked dismal.
She would lie on tear-soaked pillows for hours on end, enveloped by the sensation of doom rising from the pit of her stomach. Impossible to function and with no motivation to do so. Her self-worth plummeted as she saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Life had no meaning. She would never love again, it hurts too much when it’s all over. If you have ever felt like this, you will know that it is like being stuck in limbo. You are unable to focus on anything else.* She wallowed and for a while and allowed her mind to drag her through every moment of bliss throughout their relationship. Until one day, amongst the flashes of memories, she was reminded of a happiness that exsisted before him. The hope had been found. If it happened before, it can happen again.
She knew that in order to find that happiness alone again, she needed to find who she was. She learned what she loved and in doing so, she found out who she was. She learned to find happiness in the smallest joys in life and to smile, as much as possible. She made peace with the fact that in order to find true happiness, you need to experience some of the bad feelings too. But in the end, it’s all worth it.
*If you haven’t experienced this, you are either the lucky one or the unlucky one. I cannot decide.