This writing prompt “triggered” me slightly. By the way, I love the fact that we live in a time where people are referred to as being “triggered” when something bothers them and even more so that there are Youtube compilations of this. Anyway, I was triggered. The first thing I thought about was how I have worked in bars all of my working life and the way that some of the general public treat people who work in customer service can be absolutely vile. That whole “customer is always right” stuff? Absolute bollocks. I would honestly say that the customer is barely ever right and if they are, I would agree with them, rendering any attitude unnecessary and arse-holey.
The people who have always made me the most irritated aren’t the ones who drink a little too much and then have some bizarre flaccid “boxing match” – they tend to be brilliant, but the snobs who think you are some kind of servent-bot-thing, void of all personal emotions, intelligence and feeling. I cannot stand it when someone tells me how much change I owe them as if my tiny waitressing brain can’t work it out, or when a customer “reminds” me that I haven’t finished their Guinness (I draw a cock and balls on the top of their pint in such cases – Guinness pouring pro right here).
I have worked behind bars and waiting on tables with trainee dentists, writers, medicine students, theoretical physics students, people who work three jobs and have a work ethic that I wish I was capable of having and people who just love working with others in the customer service trade and I can honestly say that every single one of them is more switched on than idiots who don’t say please and thank you.
So, here are some frustrations, in poetry form, about why you should never underestimate people who work in customer service. You never know if they could become a doctor who saves your life, the author of your next favourite book, the person who decides how many teeth you need removing, and failing all of that, we have access to corkscrews and knives.
The first time you see her she smiles and calls you Sir,
But they are not the same kind of manners that you show her,
You complain about parking and how the place was hard to find,
“I shouldn’t have to put up with this! I came here to unwind!”
The food was too hot and you had a long wait,
You would do anything you could to make a complaint.
Then seven years later after choking on some quinoa,
Your wife shouts across the restaurant, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
A young woman runs over, she was on a date,
She said, “I’m a doctor, don’t worry it’s not too late.”
You come back around and as you open your eyes,
You recognise that young face but you can’t think why.
It’s the girl you said was thick, but you were too dumb to see,
She was working on the bar so she could get her degree.
So next time you are out in public, don’t be a dick,
You don’t come across superior, you literally just look thick.